The Myth of Being “Authentic” and How Values Make It Real

Authenticity can be a performance.

You are told to be yourself.

To be real.

To just be authentic.

But sometimes, even that starts to feel like a script.

You share the right kind of vulnerability.

You say the right words about balance, alignment, or truth.

And it still feels like something is missing.

Because underneath it all, you are still editing.

Still curating.

Still wondering how it will be received.

It Looks Like Honesty. But It Feels Like Pressure.

This is where people can get stuck. You are not being dishonest. You are saying things you believe. But the version of authenticity you are sharing has been shaped to be digestible, impressive, or safe. And even though it is polished to look real, it does not leave you feeling grounded.

You know how to be open without being exposed.

You know how to show honesty that makes others comfortable.

You know how to present depth without risking rejection.

This kind of “authenticity” is not fake, but it is filtered. It is built around how you want to be perceived, not around what matters most to you. Over time, even your most honest efforts can start to feel hollow if they are disconnected from your values and what matters most to you.

You are not wrong for wanting to be seen.

But you might be shaping that visibility around other people’s expectations.

And that is where the pressure builds.

Values Bring You Back to Something Solid

Real authenticity does not start with how you are perceived.

It starts with how you live.

When you name your values, you stop asking what authenticity looks like and start asking what it feels like.

You make decisions that reflect your priorities, not just your image.

You share in ways that are honest, not performative.

You show up as someone consistent, not curated.

This doesn't mean forcing yourself to be raw or dramatic or bold.

It is to be rooted.

And that happens when your values lead, not your audience.

A Question to Reflect On

Where in your life are you performing authenticity instead of living it?