There’s a Difference Between Being Liked and Being Aligned (Tuesday Tip #21)
We’re taught from an early age that being liked is important. Praise feels good. Approval feels safe. And when people respond positively to you, it can seem like a sign that you’re doing something right.
But here is the problem: Being liked and being aligned are not the same thing.
You can be praised for being agreeable, flexible, or easy to work with, even while you’re quietly pushing your own values to the side. You can build a reputation as the one who adapts, compromises, and keeps things smooth, even when something inside you feels off.
Over time, that disconnect adds up.
A Cost of Being Liked
When you make yourself small to maintain harmony, or ignore your own instincts to avoid discomfort, it might keep the peace. But it can come at the cost of your clarity.
You might find yourself saying yes when you mean no. You might get a promotion or earn respect while secretly feeling disconnected from the version of yourself that made it happen. It is easy to mistake external praise for internal alignment. But over time, success that is built on compromise can feel more like performance than purpose.
It is not a failure. It is a survival strategy. But eventually, it can leave you wondering who you are beneath all that approval.
Alignment Feels Different
Living in alignment does not always get applause. Sometimes it brings tension. But it also brings something more important. It brings a sense of consistency between what matters to you and how you move through the world.
When your values guide your decisions, you may disappoint others now and then. You may lose some of the praise you once relied on. But you gain something more lasting: the authenticity that comes from being true to yourself.
Over time, that sense of alignment builds trust. Not just from others, but from within.
Questions to Reflect On
Where in your life are you being liked for something that no longer feels true to you?
And what would change if you chose alignment instead of approval?
Every Tuesday, we offer Tuesday Tips on the Values Identifier Facebook page and here in blog form. These tips offer thoughts and ideas to help you live a life more aligned with your values.
